I think I can say...

Hey who ever is reading this. 

Maybe you know that I'm allways lack of time, well allways late. Yeah, I thought I had it under control but today I'm realizing that it's definetly not like that! I had a blackout this morning!! 

I can remember that I actually really get up, but the next thing I remember is how I woke up at 8:40 am!

Now it's 10:06 am and I'm still not at school. But I front of it.

I missed the bus... -.-** 

AGAIN!

Can you tell me why the bus has allways to come on time when I'm dead when I'm missing him?!?

I mean the bus is late all the time. But today he's punctual.

And by the way if he wasn't I hadn't miss my second period at school.

But I'll stop here because I'm at school now.

Dream.

Oh my fucking god! I've dreamed such a shit! I guess you want to know what exactly the dream was about but the thing is that I know that some people I know are reading this blog. Which is quite uncomfortable sometimes, or well most of the time (to the people who think that they are meant: I like you cuties, but I think -yes, I know that comes late- I need some space. I don't want you to never ever read my blog again, just to make that clear, but the other kiddos have to know why I can't go that much in detail..).

So back to the totally-not-like-me-dream: it was awesome -somehow- and I actually liked it (and still do) but it wasn't like me. You know? 

I mean it was beautiful and so on (you can add words which you think discribe it better) and I do want to have those things in reality. Well the point is -ehm at least I think it is- I'm afraid. I guess that's how it is. 

Don't dare you little brats laugh! 

Because I'm sure you've been afraid sometimes too. Yeah, I know that this thing in my dream shouldn't afraid me that much, but it does and I know why.

I'm looking forward at the future because I want to know what happens next and I want to know if my fantasys become true. But anyway I push those things as far away as I can, I can't get rid of dreaming about them. I do like those things although I'm convinced that they are disgusting.

That's kind of puzzling, isn't it?

It's been a while.

I know it's long time ago, but now I'm back and I want you to say: 

It's Sunday and I'm totally filling up the cliché. 

Hanging around, doing nothing and asking myself what I can do. The thing is that I actually know pretty well what I can do, I'm just not doing it. What would you do being me?

I guess I should do at least some of my work.. That would be a good thing, don't you think so?

I just really don't know what to say, well write, and I have absolutely nothing to tell.

Looking at this seems to be like a wink to shut the hell up. So this one time I will do what's being told.

Cherry out.

Time

Time.. Yes we definetly have not enough of it. And we can't control it. We just live in it. What a mess! -.-

And as it's not enough I totally failed. In school and at home. It's horrible.

But I guess you don't want to hear my blabbering about my breaking psych, so I will go on to some other stuff.

- you remember me talking about boy and girl right? Well in a few days they are together since one and a half month! What presents they have? ;b

- Monday were the information-evening. Some of you been there. Well me too, so I know that some of you were there because I saw you freaks. 

--> it was a bad bad day. 'Cause now some of us have the feeling they never ever are getting their exams.

-> dear headmaster, thank you very much for your motivating speech. (Sarcasm is include)

- come to the next point: it's spring!! *-* so maybe some spring-feelings are coming up. ;)

That concludes my blog for today.

I have to work hard to you know. School and stuff..

Love is in the air.

It's valentines day. That means flowers, chocolate and kissing pairs everywhere.
Well, maybe most of you or at least a few of you like this day but I hate this day, because I hate seeing this all lovey-dove-ish pairs making out and this romantic-shit. But what I hate the most is this weird situations. I never ever want to be in one! So totally not.

But come to the gossip. You remember when I told you last time about girl and boy being together now? Of course you do.
Well, I come across of what he bought her for this valentine-thing. A bracelet. With a heard. When I babel to much about it, you would know who girl is and like that you would probably know who boy is. And that would be...not so good...

That's it for now.

P.S.: Tell me your valentine-story.

And everything goes his way

I don't really think that that's a good title but whatever.

The situation is as every time: school sucks. Life sucks. Everything sucks. And I'm in the middle of my own hilarious disaster. -.-' 

What a mess!

Well, I think I have to explain that. School sucks because this stupid (annoying, psychotic, selfish) teachers think that they are the middle of the world. But - Attention! Here comes an example statement!- they are not! I can't understand why they think something like that. I mean it's very impossible.

So come to the second: Life sucks. Well, at the moment my life isn't that dreamy and there definetly aren't flowers flewing everywhere or rainbows, not even unicorns. :(

That's kind of depressing, so life sucks.

The third thing is just the plural of the first and second thing.

I think that's all. 

Wait no, I have some gossip. ;)

Oh just can see how you're freaking out.

Yes, I know you want to hear it, so here it comes (just one thing: I don't have names for now so they will be named girl and boy):

- girl is together with... (Please imagine drumbeats here) boy!!

Who has expect that? Me!

 

Fuck it!!

Probably you know how it is to just can't get yourself on doing something. Everyone does and if anyone say that it's not like that he/she is a liar! Definitely. So, I hate such situations!!
Today I had to write my bio test, yes I know that's it Saturday, but today was the Repeating-test-day. What wonderful ideas teachers have all the time, right? I mean it's totally in my opinion to go to school on Saturdays (Just to make it clear: That was a JOKE!).

But back to the point about the 'can't-get-yourself-on-doing-something'-thing. Well every weekend I tell myself: "You're gone do your homework, you're gone do your Dalton tasks, you're gone tidy up your room, you're gone learn a lot, you're gone..." And so on and so on. Isn't that stupid? I think it's actually really annoying, but that are those things which are going on in my head like a mantra every day, well weekend. And now there comes the downer: I do not do anything!
Wow. I didn't expect that this would sound so..bad. Kind of.

Okay just give me a few comments I can work with. Tell me your little mantras. ;b

See you later alligator.

Cherry is going to buy some stuff now. Just because she want to do that. Nop, I'm kidding. I have to buy stuff. It's an order.
Isn't it a bit of curios that I don't care about that?
Na. Don't think so.

So than, I really have to go off now!

What am I doing?

My life sucks. Well, most of the time. It's like everytime something good happens - and by the way, that's not often - allways something bad follows or is included. Is that normal? Maybe. But maybe it's just because of me. Really, I think it's because of me. I just can't control my self, nor can I force me to anything. And before you ask, yes, that is bad. Because I even don't want to do the things I actually like! I'm feeling ill, not in the kind of way of being pained by fever or stomach-hurting or something like that, more in the way of: "My brain isn't working and I think that's because of my breaking psych which is going down the drain.". It could be that this sounds stupid to you or maybe I can't express my self as good as I thought or I'm just overreacting. Okey. Could be. It's possible. More than that. But why does I feel so bad, unhealthy and psychotic in a way.
I'm allways doing at least one thing wrong or not good enough or I forget it althrough I really want to do it right, well I want to do it and that's a good beginning, don't you think so?

Today (okey in a view minutes it's yesterday) I wrote a very pessimistic text for English-VTF and with very pessimistic I mean I just told my mind out in an not so eloquently way (doesn't this word just sounds cute? *-*). But what should I write to a exercise that tells you to say an Alien, who arrived (stupidly) to the earth, what so wonderful in the world is. In my opinion there's nothing because everything that was beautiful and those things, is gone now. The reason? Our specie. The human. What a monster!
At 17.30 PM I had to be at school (I was there a few minutes later, what a wonder, right? Oh I'm so funny!!) - better: the aula - because of the "Portfolio-Vorstellung" of our german class.
My parents were there. :o

But enough about that stuff now. I want to sleep you know? Of course you do.

Good night kiddies.