Fuck it!!

Probably you know how it is to just can't get yourself on doing something. Everyone does and if anyone say that it's not like that he/she is a liar! Definitely. So, I hate such situations!!
Today I had to write my bio test, yes I know that's it Saturday, but today was the Repeating-test-day. What wonderful ideas teachers have all the time, right? I mean it's totally in my opinion to go to school on Saturdays (Just to make it clear: That was a JOKE!).

But back to the point about the 'can't-get-yourself-on-doing-something'-thing. Well every weekend I tell myself: "You're gone do your homework, you're gone do your Dalton tasks, you're gone tidy up your room, you're gone learn a lot, you're gone..." And so on and so on. Isn't that stupid? I think it's actually really annoying, but that are those things which are going on in my head like a mantra every day, well weekend. And now there comes the downer: I do not do anything!
Wow. I didn't expect that this would sound so..bad. Kind of.

Okay just give me a few comments I can work with. Tell me your little mantras. ;b

See you later alligator.

Cherry is going to buy some stuff now. Just because she want to do that. Nop, I'm kidding. I have to buy stuff. It's an order.
Isn't it a bit of curios that I don't care about that?
Na. Don't think so.

So than, I really have to go off now!

What am I doing?

My life sucks. Well, most of the time. It's like everytime something good happens - and by the way, that's not often - allways something bad follows or is included. Is that normal? Maybe. But maybe it's just because of me. Really, I think it's because of me. I just can't control my self, nor can I force me to anything. And before you ask, yes, that is bad. Because I even don't want to do the things I actually like! I'm feeling ill, not in the kind of way of being pained by fever or stomach-hurting or something like that, more in the way of: "My brain isn't working and I think that's because of my breaking psych which is going down the drain.". It could be that this sounds stupid to you or maybe I can't express my self as good as I thought or I'm just overreacting. Okey. Could be. It's possible. More than that. But why does I feel so bad, unhealthy and psychotic in a way.
I'm allways doing at least one thing wrong or not good enough or I forget it althrough I really want to do it right, well I want to do it and that's a good beginning, don't you think so?

Today (okey in a view minutes it's yesterday) I wrote a very pessimistic text for English-VTF and with very pessimistic I mean I just told my mind out in an not so eloquently way (doesn't this word just sounds cute? *-*). But what should I write to a exercise that tells you to say an Alien, who arrived (stupidly) to the earth, what so wonderful in the world is. In my opinion there's nothing because everything that was beautiful and those things, is gone now. The reason? Our specie. The human. What a monster!
At 17.30 PM I had to be at school (I was there a few minutes later, what a wonder, right? Oh I'm so funny!!) - better: the aula - because of the "Portfolio-Vorstellung" of our german class.
My parents were there. :o

But enough about that stuff now. I want to sleep you know? Of course you do.

Good night kiddies.